What Were They Thinking? Things people write in their resumes
Looking for job can easily grow into a full-time job in itself. But no matter how hard job search might be, you should always double check things you send to a potential employer. Otherwise, that painstaking process of sending out resumes and filling out applications may never end.
Below is the list of hilarious blunders people make in their resumes and cover letters. According to recruiters, some candidates say that they need several bathroom breaks each hour. Others attach recommendation letter from their mothers. There was even an account of one woman bragging in her cover letter about her ability of persuading people sexually. Apparently, some people firmly believe that in order to get a job they need to share everything from their full medical histories and criminal backgrounds to pictures in bikinis and perfumed resumes with teddy bears on them. After going through tons of resumes like these, many hiring managers ask themselves: What Were These People Thinking?
The following is some of the most unusual and silliest things that people have put on their resumes and job applications:
Objectives:
“To pursue a challenging account executive position at <competitor’s name>” (The objective contained the name of the rival company)
“Objective: [Click here and type your objective]” (from Microsoft Word’s Resume Template)
“This position will look really neat on my resume”
“Pursue a career on the Information Supper Highway”
“I want to be a millionaire by the time I am 30”
Job Skills & Qualifications:
“You will discover my skills if you hire me” (for a programmer position)
“I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” (for a sales position)
“Experience with versions of Lotus 1, 2, AND 3” (The software is actually called “Lotus 123”)
“I can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet” (for a web development position)
“I have experience with Sysco routers” (for an IT company, Cisco makes computer network routers. Sysco is a food services company.)
“I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here” (Resume had someone else’s comments on the margins:)
Work Experience:
“Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
“My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
“28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).”
“I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
“Stalking, shipping & receiving”
“Surfing the Internet”
Achievements & Accomplishments:
“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
“Nominated for prom queen”
“I’ve never been fired from a job”
“won a strawberry eating contest when I was sixteen”
Education:
“Graduated: Yes.” (that was it for the entire section)
“No education or experience.”
Languages:
“Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.”
“I am bi-lingual in three languages.”
Hobbies / Personal Interests:
“Painting my toenails in varying colors.”
“Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
“Drugs and girls.”
“Having a good time”
“Sitting on a levee at night watching alligators”
“Maintaining a healthy digestive system” (applying for a position to a nutritional products company)
“Wedding planning and Grays Anatomy” (applying to a financial services firm)
